I've been repeatedly trying to explain health care reform ideas to people, and it's getting rather exhausting. It seems like most people only see extremes presented by media, lobbyists, and politicians (none of which can be believed because they're each trying to hype their own agendas).

Today, I saw this, and I love it!

Labels: Activism, Health

I wasn't surprised by the number of people who thought I was nuts for when I said that 10-year-olds needed sex education and lots of information about how to protect themselves from pregnancy and STDs. Most of the comments I got were, "I don't think kids are having sex that young." But a new study shows that I wasn't too far off the mark, at least when it comes to low-income kids (I grew up in a low-income community, so this matches my own observations).


http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/08/090817142855.htm

Now if only I could convince some of my conservative friends to openly talk about sex with their kids...

Labels: Current Events, Funny Families Kids and Parenthood, Health, Love Relationships and Marriage

The more I talk to people who are mentally unbalanced or have unhealthy beliefs, the more I find religion at the heart of it. Honestly, I think that the majority of the unhealthy beliefs that contributed to the anxiety and depression I suffered through for years were rooted in religious ideas that were taught to me when I was a kid and practiced by my family and friends.

It wasn't until I grew up, let go of all of it, and became agnostic that I suddenly was able to realize how absurd it all was. I feel like I see things with so much more clarity. I'm happy now. I'm mentally healthy now.

But there's a problem. The people I grew up with, the people I love, still have those old beliefs which I now find absurd. It's not easy to keep talking to them. They constantly tell me about their interpretations of normal events as if they were somehow supernatural, and they have supernatural explanations for everything. Science is ignored. They all tell me I'm crazy for not believing in these ideas and warn me that I'm going to fall victim to demons or be sent to hell. They beg me to "just have faith." But I do have faith. I have faith in logic and science and my own sense of what's real and what isn't real. But that's not enough for them. They want me to believe in the mythology I had been fed for so many years. Ideas like these:

• Special people can read your thoughts.
  
  When I was growing up, I was repeatedly told that I shouldn't have bad thoughts because God knew what I was thinking and would punish me for thinking bad things. I was also told that my dead loved ones would know what I was thinking, and they would be ashamed of me if I thought bad things. Then I was told that some people had been given the ability to read minds, a gift from God, and that you would never know who was one of these Saint-like people were. They could be the guy sitting next to you, your best friend, your neighbor, anyone, and you wouldn't know it.
  
  I grew up being afraid to think freely, afraid of my own thoughts. It wasn't until I stopped believing such teachings that I was able to have a thought without feeling guilty or ashamed.
  
  
• God, angels, and spirits of the dead speak to you in signs.
  
  I was told that the supernatural world doesn't speak to you directly. Instead they try to send you messages with signs. The signs could be anywhere or anything. I was told that we were being sent signs all the time, little things we look at every day but ignore. When I was growing up I became concerned that everything was trying to tell me something. I was told that if you had a problem, you could just pray, turn on the TV or open a book, and *poof* God would give you a sign to help you solve your problem. A common question among people around me was, "What do you think it means?"
  
  When I stopped believing such ideas, I stopped asking "what do you think it means?" It doesn't mean anything. It is what it is. Appreciate it for itself.
  
  The picture fell off the wall because the nail that held it up slipped out because the material around the nail hole slowly eroded away. The picture fell off the wall. That's all it means. It doesn't mean that somebody is going to die. It doesn't mean that evil spirits want to attack that person. It just fell. Hang it back up.
  
  
• God, demons, angels, etc. can make you think and do things.
  
  I was taught that at any time I could lose control of my ability to think for myself. I'd become possessed or tricked into making mistakes. If I let myself get tricked or possessed, it was because I didn't have enough faith in God, and God would be angry with me for not having faith. Mistakes were not just mistakes, not just a lack of knowledge or experience. Mistakes were evil, and if I made a mistake, then I was evil.
  
  No wonder I became a perfectionist.
  
  
• Your thoughts can make things happen.
  
  I was taught that if you thought about something, then that something would happen. It was like making a wish or saying a prayer. God would answer it by doing it. If you thought about getting hit by a car, then you'd get hit by a car. It's easy to say that's not true, but I see it in our culture all the time. For example, The Secret, is a book all about how whatever you think about will happen. They call it the law of attraction and act as if it's mystical. It's not.
  
  If you never think about brushing your teeth, then you won't brush your teeth, so yes, thought is required to make something happen. But just thinking about brushing my teeth doesn't get my teeth clean. Likewise, thinking about killing somebody doesn't make you a murderer.

I've even noticed the power of belief creating hallucinations in the people I talk to. Did you smell that? Did you see that? Did you hear that? Did you feel that? Sometimes one person would say they sensed something, and suddenly everyone else would start claiming they sensed it too. The power of suggestion.

I'm raising my kids as agnostics, free thinkers, and giving them the chance to decide what they want to believe, but I'm doing my best to ensure that science and logic are sought before religion when trying to answer questions, determine causes, or find solutions. I'm amazed by how healthy they are, how different they are compared to how I was when I was their age, compared to how my family members and friends were when they were their age. My children don't have the anxiety. They aren't constantly afraid or ashamed. They believe they can do anything. They aren't afraid of the dark. They don't blame their problems on the devil or punishment by God. They take responsibility for their actions. And they're happy.

Maybe mental health problems need a little less focus on healing symptoms and a little more focus on healing the roots of problems. Maybe we need detox and rehab centers for people who were raised with absurd, unhealthy religious beliefs.

Labels: Deep Thoughts and Philosophy, Health, The Quest for Happiness

So I've been debating quite a bit about whether or not I should have my breasts lifted and augmented. Pregnancy made them grow, breastfeeding made them huge, and then they deflated. I truly feel deformed in the chest area, and the padded ultra-support bras just aren't cutting it; they're not designed for deflated breasts.

I've always said that I would consider the to boost or not to boost the bust arguments after I reached my goal weight of 130 lbs. It always seemed like something I would do someday in the future but not necessarily anytime soon. Well, I'm feeling pretty confident that I'll be reaching that goal in the foreseeable future, especially if I keep losing at the rate that I am, so I really have to start thinking about it. I've been reading up and talking to people, and...

I'm going to do it.

I'm in my 30's, so I have potentially another 70 years ahead of me. I don't want to spend all those years crossing my arms over my chest, especially whenever I'm wearing a bathing suit or happen to answer the door in my pajamas.

OK, for those of you who've had it, anyone got any tips or suggestions? I need to start collecting them now. Email me (or comment), please.

Labels: Health, My Life

My daughter had her checkup yesterday, and I was talking to our pediatrician (nice guy, good doc) about the HPV vaccine, which I am all for (had it myself). He recommended she get it before the age of 14 to make sure that she has it before she becomes sexually active. I thought 14 was actually too late.

OK, so I admit that my gut feeling is "not my kid" when it comes to things like that, but I'm not naive enough to assume that my kids won't be sexually active at some point as teenagers. The question is-- when?

So I was having some discussions with people and repeatedly heard that because the average age for somebody to lose their virginity is 17, you don't need to worry about it when your kids are still playing with kid toys. (The age is based on some sources but not others, I'm just going to go with 17 since that was the widely held belief of the people I spoke to). I also heard some people say that it was impossible for pre-teens to have sex because their bodies weren't developed enough.

Well, let my ranting begin.

• That average age, 17, is the average, meaning some people start later (like 30), and some people start EARLIER (like 12).
• That average age is the average age for vaginal intercourse. That does not include things like oral sex, anal sex, and other sexual activities that can spread STDs. (This is based on some of the studies I've read. And, by the way, the conclusive average age in those studies varied. Some said 16, some said 18. Etc.)
• When I was in junior high (7th grade, 12 years old; 8th grade 13 years old), kids were performing sexual acts on each other. I don't just mean that they said "Yeah, I did it." I mean I actually saw my peers engaged in sexual acts. I even saw them do this at school, with adults nearby. Sometimes on the basketball court. Sometimes on the bus. Sometimes behind buildings. Etc.
• By the time I was in high school, I had quite a few friends who already had kids of their own. One of my friends already had 2 kids by the time she was 14.
• None of the parents thought that their kids were having sex.
  

If some kids (not all kids, but some) are starting to engage in sexual activities at 12, then you need to reach them before 12. You need to make sure that they understand what sex is, how it works, what consequences there are, etc. They need good information, not myths from their friends. They need to know that sexual feelings are normal and are going to happen. They also need to know how to deal with those feelings; ignoring them doesn't always work. Knowing how to pleasure themselves is an empowering way to deal with urges, and, other than the possibility of developing a UTI (mostly for females), it's the safest physical sexual act they can perform. I'm not suggesting you give a demonstration or anything, but let them know it's perfectly acceptable for them to take care of business on their own. (All those old "It'll make you go blind" lies are a thing of the past.) And make sure they have access to things like condoms. It's not a license to drive; it's a seatbelt.

Labels: Health, Things that Annoy Me

I just heard on TV that thinking sexual thoughts makes you sneeze. (Autonomic nervous system, yadda yadda yadda; those of you who know what I'm talking about will understand, and the rest of you probably don't care, so I'm skipping the explanation.)

I'm not sure if I believe it (it doesn't seem to work that way for me), but it's funny to think about.

So if you're on a date with somebody who has allergies, maybe it's not the pollen in the air that's making them sneeze.

Hmmm... What if it worked the other way around? What if sneezing lead to sexual thoughts? Allergy season would be an excellent time to go on a date.

Labels: Cool Stuff, Health, Love Relationships and Marriage

I love this. So at Science News (one of my favorite news sources full of nerdy topics I love, like health and theoretical physics), there's an article about how saying obscene words increases your ability to tolerate pain. This made me very happy, because...

1. I don't feel so guilty now for involuntarily chanting the f-word in front of my kids whenever I get hurt.
2. It totally explains why I suddenly find myself swearing up a storm when I'm around certain people (pain for my brain).
   
3. It's not a bad habit; it's a super power that makes me invincible!
   

Labels: Cool Stuff, Health

I'm watching Obsessed right now on A&E. It's a show about people with anxiety, phobias, OCD, etc. I have to say, I'm so happy that there is a show about this, so maybe other people can understand what it's like to have these problems.

One of the nicest feelings is that when I watch this show I feel so free. I know what those people are going through, but that's not me anymore. I don't have any of those terrifying thoughts now. I don't have the urge to do things 3 times. I don't collect unnecessary things. I don't need to do repetitive tasks to keep my brain busy to avoid those intrusive thoughts. I don't need to pack the insane amount of stuff with me when I leave the house. I'm not afraid of dying anymore. I'm not afraid of losing my loved ones anymore. I'm not afraid of contamination like I used to be (I'm at a much more reasonable level now). I don't have panic attacks. And I'm not clinging to all those underlying emotional problems. Yes, I still get stressed out, and when that happens some of those old symptoms start to appear again, but I can make them go away now. Such a nice feeling.

I watch this show, and I just want to give everyone a big hug and tell them that it can get better, but it takes work. It's not easy work, but it's worth it.

Labels: Health, My Life, The Quest for Happiness

I'm tired. I've just finished a week in the Newberry National Volcanic Monument.

Whenever I go camping, I eat. I stress eat. And eat. And eat. Then I eat high calorie foods and drink high calorie drinks. I almost always come back from traveling, camping, etc. a couple pounds heavier. I was determined that this time I would come back weighing the same or less. I haven't weighed myself yet, but I'm very proud of my eating habits.

I was worried that I wouldn't get enough exercise. No problem there. We hiked through the lava tubes. Hiked over the Big Obsidian Flow. Gazed at waterfalls. Hiked along rivers. And then we biked through Sun River. The wonderful part was that the last time I did any of that stuff, I was so out of shape that I struggled through it. This time, it was all easy, so easy that I wanted to do more but my kids couldn't keep up. Oh the irony.

I also conquered one of my biggest fears on the way home: driving the truck with the RV trailer from start to end, parked it and all (none of that "just during the easy parts" stuff). My children made a "Driving the Trailer" badge/emblem for me to mark my accomplishment. The badge had a big K on it. Why? My kids said that it was because I graduated the kindergarten level of RV driving. To graduate higher levels I need to be able to do it "without Daddy's help." I'll work on that.

I got home and turned on the TV. Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcette are dead. I'm not surprised about Farah. So sad that she had to die of cancer. I hate cancer. Cancer has killed or threatened the lives of so many people I love. It's horrible to watch somebody die of it. I want to do whatever I can to keep myself, my husband, and my children from falling victim to it. Michael Jackson's death surprised me, but we all die, and I'm OK with that, so I'm not too shocked. I was never really a fan anyhow. Liked a few of his songs. Liked Weird Al's versions of his music better. At least he got to die rather quickly, not with all that suffering the comes from cancer. I wonder how long it will be before people start saying, "He's still alive! I saw him at 7-11 with Elvis."

Labels: Current Events, Health, My Life, The Quest for Happiness