Kristen's Written Ramblings: My Online Journal
Monday, July 27, 2009
Hilarious Answers to Test Questions
This added an hour of laughter to my day
http://aceonlineschools.com/awesomely-bad-and-funny-student-responses-to-test-questions/
http://aceonlineschools.com/awesomely-bad-and-funny-student-responses-to-test-questions/
Labels: Entertaining Myself
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Hey, I'm not a bigot (Re-Post)
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
 | I did the test at http://www.tolerance.org/hidden_bias/index.html my results: Your data suggest little to no automatic preference between African American and European American. |
Labels: Entertaining Myself
I'm Feeling Brilliant Today (Re-Post)
Here's another re-post from my old blog.
Thank you for your interest in the test at IQTest.com.Your general IQ score is: 146
..>..>..>..>
| 40 - 54 | Severely challenged (Less than 1% of test takers) |
| 55 - 69 | Challenged (2.3% of test takers) |
| 70 - 84 | Below average |
| 85 - 114 | Average (68% of test takers) |
| 115 - 129 | Above average |
| 130 - 144 | Gifted (2.3% of test takers) |
| 145 - 159 | Genius (Less than 1% of test takers) |
| 160 - 175 | Extraordinary genius |
Who knew? I'm a flippin' genius. Now if only I actually believed in the validity of standardized tests...
Labels: Entertaining Myself
Monday, March 9, 2009
Wiper Phone Home
I discovered today that the windshield wipers on my car sound like ET when he's scared. Every three seconds, it sounds like the little guy is running around in my trunk, screaming to get out.
I guess it's time to change them.
I guess it's time to change them.
Labels: Entertaining Myself
Friday, October 10, 2008
I'm Voting Republican (Ha Ha Ha)
Labels: Activism, Entertaining Myself
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Instant Expert: Just Add Quotes
If you want to be an expert, all you need to do is put quotes around things you write and follow it with a -- author tag.
Here's an example:
"Nobody's the big fish in a small pond when we all live in the ocean." --Kristen Brooke Beck
Yes, it's not all that intelligent at all. It's just a random thought that popped in my head (probably because I was watching a documentary about squids last night). But if you stick in quotes, suddenly it seems like I spent hours meditating on the meaning of life and came up with this amazing truth.
You can't just say it randomly, though. If somebody said that to you while commuting to work on the train, you'd smile politely and move to another car. But if you stuck it in some publication (or even wrote it on the sidewalk with chalk), suddenly people would think that I knew what the hell I was talking about.
"Look at that Marge! Somebody wrote it down and stuck it in quotes. It MUST be important."
Here's an example:
"Nobody's the big fish in a small pond when we all live in the ocean." --Kristen Brooke Beck
Yes, it's not all that intelligent at all. It's just a random thought that popped in my head (probably because I was watching a documentary about squids last night). But if you stick in quotes, suddenly it seems like I spent hours meditating on the meaning of life and came up with this amazing truth.
You can't just say it randomly, though. If somebody said that to you while commuting to work on the train, you'd smile politely and move to another car. But if you stuck it in some publication (or even wrote it on the sidewalk with chalk), suddenly people would think that I knew what the hell I was talking about.
"Look at that Marge! Somebody wrote it down and stuck it in quotes. It MUST be important."
Labels: Entertaining Myself
Friday, February 1, 2008
Ahhh Nightmares
So I woke up at 3 am after having a very bizarre nightmare.
My family and I were hanging out with Alton Brown. (I love that guy.)
Then we got in our minivan (that right there made my heart race, me owning a minivan, it sends shivers down my spine) and drove to our ranch house in Texas (oh dear God, not in Texas!)
When we got in our house, there was a crazy guy who tried to strangle me to death, so my husband got out our gun and tried to shoot him but couldn't pull the trigger for some reason, and it seemed that the crazed man would surely kill us all (me, my husband, my kids, my nieces and nephews, and my sister).
Suddenly, I woke up.
Now I'm scared to go to sleep again because I might have another dream about owning a minivan or living in Texas. (Shudder Shudder)
My family and I were hanging out with Alton Brown. (I love that guy.)
Then we got in our minivan (that right there made my heart race, me owning a minivan, it sends shivers down my spine) and drove to our ranch house in Texas (oh dear God, not in Texas!)
When we got in our house, there was a crazy guy who tried to strangle me to death, so my husband got out our gun and tried to shoot him but couldn't pull the trigger for some reason, and it seemed that the crazed man would surely kill us all (me, my husband, my kids, my nieces and nephews, and my sister).
Suddenly, I woke up.
Now I'm scared to go to sleep again because I might have another dream about owning a minivan or living in Texas. (Shudder Shudder)
Labels: Entertaining Myself
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Here's a question to ponder...
Why are most toilets made out of porcelain?
I'm not able to Google the answer, and I'm sure at least one of my brilliant readers must have a guess.
I'm not able to Google the answer, and I'm sure at least one of my brilliant readers must have a guess.
Labels: Entertaining Myself
Monday, January 7, 2008
I want to win something
I'm not quite sure why, but I have this "gee I wish I'd win something" mood lately. I even submitted an entry to Publisher's Clearing House (nope, didn't buy any magazine or as-seen-on-tv junk).
Maybe they've been playing casino commercials on the radio (I listen to the radio as I fall asleep). Or perhaps I've been a victim of a subliminal marketing ploy by the state lotto. I'm sure they're putting gambling-enhancing drugs in the tap water.
Maybe they've been playing casino commercials on the radio (I listen to the radio as I fall asleep). Or perhaps I've been a victim of a subliminal marketing ploy by the state lotto. I'm sure they're putting gambling-enhancing drugs in the tap water.
Labels: Entertaining Myself
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Hieeeee! Aren't I Just Like Richard Simmons
I've discovered over the years (and reminded myself today) that when you're faced with one of those people who always seem to be pissed off about something, always in a bad mood, always complaining and grumbling, constantly distant and cold,...
The best thing to do is to act as insanely peppy, cheery, joyful, optimistic, and, of course, just like Richard Simmons. Don't just act happy. Act so happy and energetic that other people just can't help but stare at you as if you've just landed from an alien planet.
Why? Because it makes grumpy people happy. I'm convinced that they love complaining, and this overly-energized, bouncy glee brings joy and meaning to their lives by giving them something new to complain about.
Plus it's fun for you. It's a win-win for everyone.
The best thing to do is to act as insanely peppy, cheery, joyful, optimistic, and, of course, just like Richard Simmons. Don't just act happy. Act so happy and energetic that other people just can't help but stare at you as if you've just landed from an alien planet.
Why? Because it makes grumpy people happy. I'm convinced that they love complaining, and this overly-energized, bouncy glee brings joy and meaning to their lives by giving them something new to complain about.
Plus it's fun for you. It's a win-win for everyone.
Labels: Entertaining Myself
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