No matter what crisis happens, whether it be illness, injury, financial devastation, loss of reputation, victimization, or death, there's one thing I've learned you can't do. You can't sit around waiting for a hero.

No one is coming to save you. It's not a threat; it's a philosophy.

If you live with this philosophy, you tend to make a habit of figuring out how to save yourself. You manage your health because you know that nobody can do it for you. You manage your money and ensure that you have a variety of career skills that you can use to get a job to protect yourself from falling into poverty (and if you do fall into it, you'll work to get yourself out). You imagine the worst that could happen, the horrible things you don't really want to think about, and you ask yourself the hardest question of all: "What would I do in that worst-case-scenario?" You rehearse mentally for those dreaded events, even the little ones, so when they happen, you'll know what to do, and you won't fall apart.

Along with mentally rehearsing for the big problems, you must practice being calm and focused when dealing with little problems. When you freak out over something simple, it becomes a habit. It teaches your brain that every time there is a problem, big or small, you should freak out, panic, and lose control. If you panic, you won't be able to save yourself.

A common excuse I hear from people who refuse to help themselves is that they "can't." You can endure more than you ever imagined you could. You can accomplish more than you think you can. Don't fall into the trap that you are weak and frail and can't take care of things yourself. Even in your greatest moments of suffering, you can endure and you can thrive, even if you're all alone, even if you feel like nobody cares about you.

The save-yourself philosophy doesn't mean that you shouldn't ask for help. You should ask for help! You should recognize when you've hit the limit of your own expertise or ability and seek assistance. The ability to ask for help shows that you are a strong person who isn't afraid of their own limitations. But when you do need it, YOU have to be the one to find it; you need to be the one to stand up and ask for it. Don't feel sorry for yourself and wait for help to show up at your front door. It doesn't work. Get up and save yourself. No one will do it for you.

Labels: The Quest for Happiness