This added an hour of laughter to my day
http://aceonlineschools.com/awesomely-bad-and-funny-student-responses-to-test-questions/

Labels: Entertaining Myself

I've always loved technology. When I was a kid, I used to take apart stereos, phones, and appliances to fix them or use their parts to build new devices. I started playing with computers and writing my own programs when I was in 5th grade, designing multimedia websites when I was 19, and building computers when I was in my early 20's. Now, my husband and I are the computer and electronics experts in our neighborhood and among all of our relatives. It's fun. I've always believed that I could fix anything if I just put my mind to it, and most of the time I'm right, but there is one piece of technology that has always intimidated me: the automobile.

My dad would work on the car and I would stand right next to him, watching him change the oil and replace carburetor. I loved it, and I wanted to learn it, but it just seemed so tricky. Maybe it was all the grease and dirt that really bothered me. In high school I read books about auto repair, and it all made perfect sense on paper, but the moment I opened the hood, I just stared blankly at the dirt covered tangle of metal, tubes, and wires. My sister's Buick Century gave me my first lesson in engines. We had to start the thing by removing the air filter and shoving a stick into the choke valve to hold it open before turning the key. (Not a very good way to fix a problem, but it worked.) Then there was my grandpa's Dodge Charger (which I drove and received lots of compliments on; I couldn't figure out why so many people complimented me on it since I thought the thing was a old hunka-junk; it wasn't until I told my husband that I used to drive a Charger that I learned it's apparently a cool vehicle, and he was rather annoyed that I got rid of it). Nothing seemed to work on that thing. Not the wipers. Not the gas gauge. It leaked oil like mad and gave off giant plumes of blue smoke. But it taught me how to rig cars for temporary fixes. Then I had a Toyota Corolla. I paid $400 for it, and honestly that was overpriced. It was by far the crappiest car I've ever owned. The head gasket leaked. The thermostat didn't work. The clutch disc was warped. And it overheated all the time. But owning it and having a dad who knew about cars taught me the basics of engines and transmissions.

After that, I bought cars with warranties, and didn't bother with thinking about engines or break pads or anything else other than how safe is it, and what's the fuel efficiency? It had a warranty. Let the service center fix it.

I decided that I didn't care about cars anymore. Gone were the days of being a teenager dreaming about all of the sexy cars I would own when I was older: a big black 4x4 truck (we've got one now), a cute Jeep Wrangler (not impressed with it anymore), a powerful sports car (it's so unpractical). Gone were the days when I drove 90+ mph everywhere, actually cared about 0 to 60 stats, and thought it was more fun than frighting to max out the speedometer on long stretches of desert road. Gone were the days of off-roading with total strangers on anything that could fly over unmaintained dirt trails. I've traded those dreams for fantasies of going on comfortable road trips with kids who don't complained. I'll even admit that I've looked at a Dodge Caravan, yes a mini-van, and shamefully considered buying it (but I got a Volkswagen Passat station wagon instead... phew!). "I don't need a stylish or fancy car," I'd say. "I just need something practical."

And then my husband began watching Top Gear. The comedy amused me. The competitions sucked me in. And before I knew it, I was once again drooling over cars the way I did when I was a teenager. I've recently caught myself looking at nice cars with envy and wondering just how sinful is it to buy something that isn't the safest, most fuel-efficient vehicle on the market, but does look like lots of fun. I've asked questions like, "Could a child's booster seat fit in the backseat of that sports car?" and "The kids are old enough to go off-roading, aren't they? We'll go slowly, of course."

So that got me thinking about my old intimidating tech fear: working on cars. I still want to learn how. It can't be that much harder than working on appliances and computers, can it? So I'm doing it. My dad is gone now, but I'm sure that if there's an afterlife, and if they have the Internet in the after life, he'd be happy to read this, happy to know that the little girl who sat for hours watching him work on cars is finally going to get her hands greasy.

Labels: Cars Computers and Technology, My Life

The more I talk to people who are mentally unbalanced or have unhealthy beliefs, the more I find religion at the heart of it. Honestly, I think that the majority of the unhealthy beliefs that contributed to the anxiety and depression I suffered through for years were rooted in religious ideas that were taught to me when I was a kid and practiced by my family and friends.

It wasn't until I grew up, let go of all of it, and became agnostic that I suddenly was able to realize how absurd it all was. I feel like I see things with so much more clarity. I'm happy now. I'm mentally healthy now.

But there's a problem. The people I grew up with, the people I love, still have those old beliefs which I now find absurd. It's not easy to keep talking to them. They constantly tell me about their interpretations of normal events as if they were somehow supernatural, and they have supernatural explanations for everything. Science is ignored. They all tell me I'm crazy for not believing in these ideas and warn me that I'm going to fall victim to demons or be sent to hell. They beg me to "just have faith." But I do have faith. I have faith in logic and science and my own sense of what's real and what isn't real. But that's not enough for them. They want me to believe in the mythology I had been fed for so many years. Ideas like these:

• Special people can read your thoughts.
  
  When I was growing up, I was repeatedly told that I shouldn't have bad thoughts because God knew what I was thinking and would punish me for thinking bad things. I was also told that my dead loved ones would know what I was thinking, and they would be ashamed of me if I thought bad things. Then I was told that some people had been given the ability to read minds, a gift from God, and that you would never know who was one of these Saint-like people were. They could be the guy sitting next to you, your best friend, your neighbor, anyone, and you wouldn't know it.
  
  I grew up being afraid to think freely, afraid of my own thoughts. It wasn't until I stopped believing such teachings that I was able to have a thought without feeling guilty or ashamed.
  
  
• God, angels, and spirits of the dead speak to you in signs.
  
  I was told that the supernatural world doesn't speak to you directly. Instead they try to send you messages with signs. The signs could be anywhere or anything. I was told that we were being sent signs all the time, little things we look at every day but ignore. When I was growing up I became concerned that everything was trying to tell me something. I was told that if you had a problem, you could just pray, turn on the TV or open a book, and *poof* God would give you a sign to help you solve your problem. A common question among people around me was, "What do you think it means?"
  
  When I stopped believing such ideas, I stopped asking "what do you think it means?" It doesn't mean anything. It is what it is. Appreciate it for itself.
  
  The picture fell off the wall because the nail that held it up slipped out because the material around the nail hole slowly eroded away. The picture fell off the wall. That's all it means. It doesn't mean that somebody is going to die. It doesn't mean that evil spirits want to attack that person. It just fell. Hang it back up.
  
  
• God, demons, angels, etc. can make you think and do things.
  
  I was taught that at any time I could lose control of my ability to think for myself. I'd become possessed or tricked into making mistakes. If I let myself get tricked or possessed, it was because I didn't have enough faith in God, and God would be angry with me for not having faith. Mistakes were not just mistakes, not just a lack of knowledge or experience. Mistakes were evil, and if I made a mistake, then I was evil.
  
  No wonder I became a perfectionist.
  
  
• Your thoughts can make things happen.
  
  I was taught that if you thought about something, then that something would happen. It was like making a wish or saying a prayer. God would answer it by doing it. If you thought about getting hit by a car, then you'd get hit by a car. It's easy to say that's not true, but I see it in our culture all the time. For example, The Secret, is a book all about how whatever you think about will happen. They call it the law of attraction and act as if it's mystical. It's not.
  
  If you never think about brushing your teeth, then you won't brush your teeth, so yes, thought is required to make something happen. But just thinking about brushing my teeth doesn't get my teeth clean. Likewise, thinking about killing somebody doesn't make you a murderer.

I've even noticed the power of belief creating hallucinations in the people I talk to. Did you smell that? Did you see that? Did you hear that? Did you feel that? Sometimes one person would say they sensed something, and suddenly everyone else would start claiming they sensed it too. The power of suggestion.

I'm raising my kids as agnostics, free thinkers, and giving them the chance to decide what they want to believe, but I'm doing my best to ensure that science and logic are sought before religion when trying to answer questions, determine causes, or find solutions. I'm amazed by how healthy they are, how different they are compared to how I was when I was their age, compared to how my family members and friends were when they were their age. My children don't have the anxiety. They aren't constantly afraid or ashamed. They believe they can do anything. They aren't afraid of the dark. They don't blame their problems on the devil or punishment by God. They take responsibility for their actions. And they're happy.

Maybe mental health problems need a little less focus on healing symptoms and a little more focus on healing the roots of problems. Maybe we need detox and rehab centers for people who were raised with absurd, unhealthy religious beliefs.

Labels: Deep Thoughts and Philosophy, Health, The Quest for Happiness

I put off all of my professional desires to be a mom.

Back when I was planning my life, studies showed that, with regards to the health of the baby and mother, the best age for a woman to get pregnant and give birth is before she's 35, so I didn't want to wait until I was in my 40's or 50's to start a family.

I also didn't want to get started with a career and devote myself to it for a few years only to have to stop, put everything on hold, and try to pick up where I left off, so I went directly from college to marriage to motherhood by the age of 25. Yes, it was all very planned, but plans change.

I was going to put the kids in daycare and become a career minded working mom, but it wasn't long after I had my kids that I realized I just couldn't do it. I couldn't leave them for 9+ hours per day. They grow up so quickly, and before you know it, you've missed your chance to be with them when they're kids. But a career will always be there; you'll always have a chance to start a new line of work. Graduate schools aren't going to disappear any time soon either. I can always go back to school after the kids get older. I can always devote my days to a full-time career after they've grown up.

But I've been thinking about that next career after my career in motherhood. I used to want to be a teacher. I studied and trained for it, but now I don't want to do that so much. I keep thinking about becoming a mental health counselor or a marriage and family therapist. I've considered getting my doctorate in psychology. (I definitely have the personal experience in the mental health field.) I've dabbled with the idea of going into more physical fields of health care because I love learning about it, but honestly the bodily fluids thing bothers me too much (not blood, just everything else). Right now I'm a writer and document designer. It's fun, but I still want something more.

I admit that income is a factor in my decision. I used to say that income wasn't important to me, but it is. I grew up poor. I don't want to be poor again. I'm not wealthy now, but I'm happy where I am. I don't have a million dollar home, hobbies that cost thousands of dollars, or memberships in high end country clubs. I don't actually want those things. They wouldn't make me happy anyhow. But I do want enough money to maintain my current lifestyle, fix up my house (maybe add a 2nd floor), travel more, enjoy a few luxuries, and have enough left over to help some worthy non-profits.

Psychologists earn more money than counselors (the little entrepreneur in my head can do math) and get to work with more seriously ill patients, which is what I'd like to do, and the Dr. Kristen Beck title would be a nice bonus (I'll admit my ego's desires), so that's my ultimate career goal, and the ambitious "let's just do the big stuff now" part of me wants to jump right in, but it's easier to get an M.A. or M.S. degree first and then get into a Psy D. program.

So that's my career plan: a masters degree in counseling, work as a counselor for awhile, apply for entrance into a counseling or clinical psychology program (advanced standing), become Dr. Kristen, open my own private practice, and help people while earning a good income.

Now I just have to wait until my kids grow up. Oh well, that'll give me about ten years to study for my exams.

Labels: My Life

So I've been debating quite a bit about whether or not I should have my breasts lifted and augmented. Pregnancy made them grow, breastfeeding made them huge, and then they deflated. I truly feel deformed in the chest area, and the padded ultra-support bras just aren't cutting it; they're not designed for deflated breasts.

I've always said that I would consider the to boost or not to boost the bust arguments after I reached my goal weight of 130 lbs. It always seemed like something I would do someday in the future but not necessarily anytime soon. Well, I'm feeling pretty confident that I'll be reaching that goal in the foreseeable future, especially if I keep losing at the rate that I am, so I really have to start thinking about it. I've been reading up and talking to people, and...

I'm going to do it.

I'm in my 30's, so I have potentially another 70 years ahead of me. I don't want to spend all those years crossing my arms over my chest, especially whenever I'm wearing a bathing suit or happen to answer the door in my pajamas.

OK, for those of you who've had it, anyone got any tips or suggestions? I need to start collecting them now. Email me (or comment), please.

Labels: Health, My Life

My daughter had her checkup yesterday, and I was talking to our pediatrician (nice guy, good doc) about the HPV vaccine, which I am all for (had it myself). He recommended she get it before the age of 14 to make sure that she has it before she becomes sexually active. I thought 14 was actually too late.

OK, so I admit that my gut feeling is "not my kid" when it comes to things like that, but I'm not naive enough to assume that my kids won't be sexually active at some point as teenagers. The question is-- when?

So I was having some discussions with people and repeatedly heard that because the average age for somebody to lose their virginity is 17, you don't need to worry about it when your kids are still playing with kid toys. (The age is based on some sources but not others, I'm just going to go with 17 since that was the widely held belief of the people I spoke to). I also heard some people say that it was impossible for pre-teens to have sex because their bodies weren't developed enough.

Well, let my ranting begin.

• That average age, 17, is the average, meaning some people start later (like 30), and some people start EARLIER (like 12).
• That average age is the average age for vaginal intercourse. That does not include things like oral sex, anal sex, and other sexual activities that can spread STDs. (This is based on some of the studies I've read. And, by the way, the conclusive average age in those studies varied. Some said 16, some said 18. Etc.)
• When I was in junior high (7th grade, 12 years old; 8th grade 13 years old), kids were performing sexual acts on each other. I don't just mean that they said "Yeah, I did it." I mean I actually saw my peers engaged in sexual acts. I even saw them do this at school, with adults nearby. Sometimes on the basketball court. Sometimes on the bus. Sometimes behind buildings. Etc.
• By the time I was in high school, I had quite a few friends who already had kids of their own. One of my friends already had 2 kids by the time she was 14.
• None of the parents thought that their kids were having sex.
  

If some kids (not all kids, but some) are starting to engage in sexual activities at 12, then you need to reach them before 12. You need to make sure that they understand what sex is, how it works, what consequences there are, etc. They need good information, not myths from their friends. They need to know that sexual feelings are normal and are going to happen. They also need to know how to deal with those feelings; ignoring them doesn't always work. Knowing how to pleasure themselves is an empowering way to deal with urges, and, other than the possibility of developing a UTI (mostly for females), it's the safest physical sexual act they can perform. I'm not suggesting you give a demonstration or anything, but let them know it's perfectly acceptable for them to take care of business on their own. (All those old "It'll make you go blind" lies are a thing of the past.) And make sure they have access to things like condoms. It's not a license to drive; it's a seatbelt.

Labels: Health, Things that Annoy Me

I just heard on TV that thinking sexual thoughts makes you sneeze. (Autonomic nervous system, yadda yadda yadda; those of you who know what I'm talking about will understand, and the rest of you probably don't care, so I'm skipping the explanation.)

I'm not sure if I believe it (it doesn't seem to work that way for me), but it's funny to think about.

So if you're on a date with somebody who has allergies, maybe it's not the pollen in the air that's making them sneeze.

Hmmm... What if it worked the other way around? What if sneezing lead to sexual thoughts? Allergy season would be an excellent time to go on a date.

Labels: Cool Stuff, Health, Love Relationships and Marriage

I love this. So at Science News (one of my favorite news sources full of nerdy topics I love, like health and theoretical physics), there's an article about how saying obscene words increases your ability to tolerate pain. This made me very happy, because...

1. I don't feel so guilty now for involuntarily chanting the f-word in front of my kids whenever I get hurt.
2. It totally explains why I suddenly find myself swearing up a storm when I'm around certain people (pain for my brain).
   
3. It's not a bad habit; it's a super power that makes me invincible!
   

Labels: Cool Stuff, Health

I often find myself cringing at the criticism of the nagging voice in my head that asks me, "And what did you accomplish today?"

Usually, I feel like I haven't accomplished anything. I get things partially done. I move two-steps-forward-one-step-back on projects. I switch from task to task and multitask in hopes of keeping on top of everything. It's exhausting, but it doesn't feel significant.

So today I decided to make a list of the things I've accomplished before lunch.

• Woke up (that's always a good thing)
• Weighed myself...172.0 (I was 171.6 yesterday morning, darn salty Mexican food)
• Did the morning rounds of turning off alarms, opening doors and windows, checking on kids, etc.
  
• Trash day (hauled bins and such to the curb)
  
• Ate breakfast and drank coffee (had another night of insomnia and needed the boost)
• While eating breakfast, flipping channels, and waiting for the coffee to kick in, I found myself sucked in by Forces of Nature (a movie I hadn't seen before and really liked)
• Helped kids with a variety of "Mommy can you help me..." tasks (it's all a blur)
• Split my huge Outlook file into more managable, smaller files that are faster to backup
  
• Repaired a network problem on my home network that needed to get fixed
• Discovered an Internet problem that would make it impossible for me to work on my site, and called my husband to find out if he could connect to my site using another ISP to determine if the problem was my computer, my network, my ISP, or my site server... fun
  
• Repaired that darn Internet connection problem
  
• Repaired a synchronization problem between my phone and laptop
  
• Calibrated all of the computer monitors (nothing like looking at neon on one screen and nearly grayscale on another; it makes it hard to do design and image work, both of which were on my to-do list)
• Discovered that my kids were destroying the house like little tornadoes while my back was turned and calmed myself down enough to handle the issue in a civilized manner
• Convinced my kids that cleaning up after yourself is important because if you can take care of yourself, you'll be a happier, more confident person, you'll be a better pet owner (we're trying to get a dog) and a better parent, you can enjoy your space more, you can have more friends over, you won't get hurt by tripping over things, and people will notice your awesome creations instead of your overwhelming messes (after which they actually decided to clean the house themselves... yay!)
• Answered a phone call from my husband to hear about his day at work (just another mundane morning of working with multimillion dollar machines and laser beams)
  
• Checked my email (no emergencies, urgent matters, or bad news... good day)
  
• Downloaded a new alarm program for my phone so my husband doesn't have to listen to the obnoxious alarm, which he hates (instead of waking up to BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEP, I'll now wake up to "Don't Worry, Be Happy," a much more cheerful way to start the day I think)
• Made a smoothie for lunch (strawberries, blueberries, soy yogurt, and vanilla soy milk)
  
• Drank my smoothie while watching my neighbor wash his car (he loves washing his car) and watching my kids clean the dining room and kitchen and fold a load of laundry (that 30 minute lecture was so worth it!)
• Looked over my task list (I so have to get my recordings for the Personal Defense Podcast done and sent off... Sorry Alex)
  
• Realized that I haven't done my morning core strength training workout yet today, haven't changed out of my pajamas, and haven't done any of the other things I had planned on doing before noon; NOTHING has been checked off of my checklist (grumble grumble)
  
• Wrote all of this down (in this post) to make myself feel better (while repeatedly being interrupted by kids who suddenly want to know the answers to all the questions in the universe, and each answer takes 5 to 10 minutes to explain)
  

Now I just need to figure out how to get my kids to stop running around the house and farting and burping at each other (it's like tag, but way grosser).

Labels: I Actually Accomplished Something, My Life

I'm a very techno-geeky person. I love gadgets. I love software. I love networks.

So I started putting all of my appointments, events, schedules, etc. on MS Outlook (so I can send invites to other people using MS Outlook), synced with my Incite phone (so I know my schedule when I'm not at my laptop), and synced with Google Calendar (in case I lose my laptop and my phone in a tragic fire started by a freak tornado spawned by global warming).

Has it made my more organized? More aware of my schedule? More punctual? Nope. In fact, I honestly don't know what I'm doing for more than a couple days ahead of time because I don't have it nicely posted on my refrigerator or laid out in my household notebook. I can only see one week at a time on my computer, and one day at a time on my phone, so that's all I know.

I had to visit my doctor again, this time for a UTI. Not fun :-( And my doctor asked a very simple question that any person might have asked, "What are you doing this weekend?" I had no freakin' idea what I was going to do even though the weekend was only a couple days away. I wasn't even sure if I was camping or not or lighting fireworks or not. It wasn't one of my most "I'm an organized, intellectual person" moments. Why? Because I never saw it on paper.

I'm a very visual person, but my brain only seems to remember things as they fit within larger things. I remember directions if see them on a map, not a little map, a big map. I remember lectures if I see the notes, not just about the single lecture but the whole course thus far. And I remember my calendar if I see the whole calendar, not just a day or a week at a time. (I can access electronic organizers for scheduling things, setting up appointments, shuffling things around, etc. I did it all the time when I was working in offices and answering phones, but I can't remember it after the electronic organizer is turned off.) Maybe my brain just is old fashioned that way, like the grandparent who can't set the clock on their VCR or DVD player.

I may not need to remember everything. I may not need to remember appointment schedules for clients, directions to a place I will only visit one time in my life, or formulas for calculating astrophysics (even though I've had to do all of those things before). But I do need to remember my calendars and schedule for my personal life, family life, business life, vacation time, etc.

So I went back to my good ol' paper calendars. I'm still using Outlook (so I can send event info to other people), my phone (so I can look up schedules on the go, such as for making appointments on the spot rather than having to go home and call back to make it), and Google Calendar (as a backup). But I have to plan things out with my paper calendars, post the current ones on a bulletin board, file away past or future ones in my household notebook, etc.

I thought that if I just printed out my electronic calendar, I'd be fine. But it doesn't print out in a way that works well. Words get chopped off. Everything looks the same. You can't control formats. Blah blah blah. I have to use one of the calendars I've designed myself.

It's really not that big of a deal. I'm using my paper calendar as my primary calendar. The electronic organizers are just a convenience. It only takes a few seconds to copy one to the other.

Problem Solved

Labels: Goals, My Life, Problem Solved

I'm a happy girl this morning, and it's not just because we get to blow things up today (Happy 4th of July!). One of the advertisers for my site posted a skyscraper ad for a new edition of my all time favorite video game-- Monkey Island! Yay! They're coming out with a new Monkey Island. (Let me insert my happy dance here.)

It's funny.
It's addictive.
It's got lots of brain twisting puzzles.
The music makes me want to dance.
And I absolutely love the characters in it.

I don't know if this new one is suitable for kids, but the old ones were quite kid friendly. (Hmmmm, I think I'll be installing them for our kids today. I must pass the addiction on to the next generations; you know, just in case I drop dead today.)



Now they just need to come out with a new Grim Fandango.

Labels: Cool Stuff