My 3-year-old discovered Jack Nicholson and said, "Jack Nicholson! His name is Jack Nicholson? He must like to collect nickels."

Labels: Funny Families Kids and Parenthood

Everything in your life is temporary, even the things that you wish were permanent. Every person you love, every thing that's important to you, the roles you play, and even your body will all leave you. It's sad when you think about it, but it also forces you to enjoy the moment and take nothing for granted.

Labels: The Quest for Happiness

If you want to fulfill a dream, all you need to do is one thing every day toward accomplishing the goal.

One thing.

So what one thing could you do today to make your dream come true?

Labels: The Quest for Happiness

"Quit being such a show-off!" my mother said to me. She said it at least once a week.

So I sent my life waiting for people to notice that I'm good enough to brag about. After all, I'm smart, I have talents, I work hard, and I'm a very nice person. But in the end, most people forgot about me the moment I left the room. Brag-worthy, I was not.

Meanwhile, all the people who were blatant self-promoting exhibitionists were getting all the attention, even when their work was only of marginal quality and their attitude was less than gracious.

Then, I decided that I would stop waiting for somebody to brag about me and start boasting about myself. After all, if you don't believe in yourself, why should anyone else? I stood up and said, "Hey! Everybody, look at me. Look what I can do. I'm pretty damn impressive."

And that has made all the difference.

Labels: My Life

The more I watch and read biographies, the more I realize that life is full of trade-offs, and I'm not willing to trade my children, husband, health, or sanity for fame and fortune.

It seems the happiest rich and famous people are the ones who stop trying to be rich and famous and instead focus on the things they love.

Labels: The Quest for Happiness

You can sit around, waiting for somebody to tell you that you can write your book, make your movie, produce your album, display your art at a gallery, create your invention, etc., or you can give yourself permission to just move forward with the next step and see what happens.

Labels: The Quest for Happiness

If I have to choose between having people laugh at me or criticize me for trying to make my dreams come true, even if I fail, or safely blending into the crowd but never having my dreams come true, I'll take the criticism and ridicule.

Labels: The Quest for Happiness

A song my 3-year-old daughter wrote:

Oh, we're all made out of meat,
But I don't know why
Because meat is chicken,
But I'm not a chicken,
But we're all made out of meat.

Labels: Funny Families Kids and Parenthood

1. Stay centered / be my authentic self / have integrity
   
   
2. Play more with my kids
   
   
3. Spend more romance time with my husband (instead of just being in mom and dad mode all the time)
   
   
4. Write / rewrite one article, list, printable, etc. every week for my visitors of Kristen's Guide http://www.kristensguide.com
   
   
5. Do 30 minutes of cardio exercise, one strength training workout, balance exercises, agility exercises, and stretches every day
   
   
6. Keep my emotional eating under control
   
   
7. Send birthday cards and December holiday cards on time
   
   
8. Get all my scrapbooks up-to-date
   
   
9. Back-up all of my digital photos to Mozy, so I won't lose them if my house burns down (big fear of mine ... losing my sentimental stuff)
   
   
10. Organize the giant growing collection of my kids' artwork
    
    

Labels: My Life

So I'm talking to a pre-teen, just-getting-ready-to-enter-the-world-of-lust-filled-teenagers kid who goes to a private religious school where sex-ed is banned (because teaching kids about reproduction and STDs might make them want to run out and have sex immediately). The news was on in the background, and the reporter was talking about AIDS.

KID: I'm an American, so I can't get AIDS.

ME: Are you serious?

KID: Yeah, it's true.

ME: What! Who told you that?

KID: At school they said that people in Africa get AIDS, and my mom told me that it's because they're a third-world country. America's a rich country, so Americans can't get it.

ME: Well, how do you think people in Africa get AIDS?

KID: They get it from the water and bugs and drugs and stuff.

ME: Um, I don't think they're right. Doctors say that you get AIDS if bodily fluids, like blood and stuff, from somebody infected with HIV get into your body.

KID: You mean like from a blood transfusion?

ME: Yes, or if you share needles with somebody who has HIV, like if you do drugs, or if you have sex with somebody who has HIV.

KID: You can get AIDS from having sex?!

ME: Yup, you can get lots of diseases from having sex. That's why you have to be careful about who you have sex with, make sure you use condoms, get tested for diseases at least every year--

KID: You can get diseases from having sex?!

ME: Yup.

KID: What's a condom?

Labels: Things that Annoy Me

I know that before online shopping, people actually had to go to the store, sit in traffic, fight the crowds, buy gifts, and drag them all home. But life is easier now.

We can turn on our computers (those of us who have them), whip out our credit cards (those of us who have them), and shop online. We can compare quality (via reviews) and prices all with a couple of clicks. Then we do a few more clicks to buy what we want, and *poof* it shows up on our doorstep in a few days or weeks. If we need to mail the gift off somewhere, we can just tell the store to wrap it for us and deliver it to their door. What could be easier?

So I'm driving by the mall yesterday (not daring to actually go to the mall), and the freeway was completely clogged with people who were waiting to get on the exit to the mall. On the way back, it was clogged with people who were trying to get on the freeway from the mall. The mall parking lot was a sea of cars reflecting glimmers of sunlight. Thousands of people waiting and pushing and fighting to buy overpriced items (items they could have paid less for if they had bought it online), items that will break within days (which they would have known if they had read the reviews online), and items they didn't really want but bought anyhow because the mall didn't have the exact item they actually wanted (even though they could have purchased the exact item they wanted if they had bought it online).

So why do people still go to the mall for the holidays? What were they thinking when they decided to go? Did they assume that it would be an easy trip? Did they want to wait in traffic? Did they want to hunt for a parking space and push through crowds? Is that what makes the holidays special for them? Did they think that they would save money by buying stuff in person? I just don't get it.

Labels: Things that Annoy Me

When I look back over my life, my greatest times of growth have been immediately after my greatest times of suffering.

1. Life is good
2. Uh oh, suddenly life isn't good.
3. Will life ever by good again?
4. I'm going to make it good again.
5. Grow... grow... grow...
6. Life is good.
7. And the cycle continues...
   

I'm currently in a growth phase.

2007 was a hard year, but I must pat myself on the back for handling it so well. It was the first year that I had to fully test my new skills as a person with healthy boundaries and self-respect. (You never know if you really are able to handle anything until you are actually required to handle things you never imagined you'd need to handle.) I think I've done well considering the circumstances. (It helps that I have a supportive husband and a therapist.)

I still had anxiety and depression to deal with, but I dealt with it better than I ever have before. I didn't start binge eating. I didn't do anything to hurt myself. I didn't take my pain out on other people. I didn't sit around wondering, "why me?" I didn't blame others for how I felt. Right away, I knew that I had to get to the root of the problem, and I tackled it head on. I said "here's what's wrong," "this is how I feel about it," "this is my healthy boundary," and "this is what I will do if you cross that healthy boundary." I cried when I felt like I needed to cry. I wrote angry letters and journal entries when I needed to get the anger out. I was honest about my feelings. I was honest about what caused those feelings without seeking revenge or trying to cause pain. And I didn't just pretend that there wasn't a problem. I accepted that there are things that I can't control, and that sometimes I have to wait for somebody else to do their part themselves (I can't do it for them). I've grieved over lost dreams and accepted reality. Meanwhile, I made an effort to not neglect the blessings in my life right now: my children, my husband, my pet, my home, my privileges, and my own abilities to heal myself.

So now I'm looking at what's next. I don't want to get stuck in the stage of "just getting over the suffering." I've already done that part, and now I need to start moving forward and tweaking the plan as I go.

Things are getting better. Things always get better.

Labels: My Life

I think one of the things that bugs me is that so many self-help gurus portray that "My life is perfect, and it was so easy to make it that way" aura. Then the public finds out that they have flaws, and they make excuses and wonder why the public is so interested in their flaws. Here's why: because everybody has flaws.

Everybody has demons. Everybody has problems that they're not quite sure how to fix, sometimes because there is no "fix." Everybody has qualities that they wish they could change. Everybody has made mistakes that they wish they could go back and change. And when you act like your life is perfect and that everything is easy for you because you have some amazing plan, it's a lie. And people love a good lie, especially when you portray a "I don't lie" value system.

If you just tell everyone, "Hey, I've got issues! But I'm working through them," or "Hey, I sometimes lie to make myself look better," then perhaps you wouldn't have a crowd of people pointing at you when your flaws are made public. Instead, they might just pat you on the back and say, "Oh, don't worry, it happens to everyone."

Labels: Things that Annoy Me