The more I talk to people who are mentally unbalanced or have unhealthy beliefs, the more I find religion at the heart of it. Honestly, I think that the majority of the unhealthy beliefs that contributed to the anxiety and depression I suffered through for years were rooted in religious ideas that were taught to me when I was a kid and practiced by my family and friends.

It wasn't until I grew up, let go of all of it, and became agnostic that I suddenly was able to realize how absurd it all was. I feel like I see things with so much more clarity. I'm happy now. I'm mentally healthy now.

But there's a problem. The people I grew up with, the people I love, still have those old beliefs which I now find absurd. It's not easy to keep talking to them. They constantly tell me about their interpretations of normal events as if they were somehow supernatural, and they have supernatural explanations for everything. Science is ignored. They all tell me I'm crazy for not believing in these ideas and warn me that I'm going to fall victim to demons or be sent to hell. They beg me to "just have faith." But I do have faith. I have faith in logic and science and my own sense of what's real and what isn't real. But that's not enough for them. They want me to believe in the mythology I had been fed for so many years. Ideas like these:

• Special people can read your thoughts.
  
  When I was growing up, I was repeatedly told that I shouldn't have bad thoughts because God knew what I was thinking and would punish me for thinking bad things. I was also told that my dead loved ones would know what I was thinking, and they would be ashamed of me if I thought bad things. Then I was told that some people had been given the ability to read minds, a gift from God, and that you would never know who was one of these Saint-like people were. They could be the guy sitting next to you, your best friend, your neighbor, anyone, and you wouldn't know it.
  
  I grew up being afraid to think freely, afraid of my own thoughts. It wasn't until I stopped believing such teachings that I was able to have a thought without feeling guilty or ashamed.
  
  
• God, angels, and spirits of the dead speak to you in signs.
  
  I was told that the supernatural world doesn't speak to you directly. Instead they try to send you messages with signs. The signs could be anywhere or anything. I was told that we were being sent signs all the time, little things we look at every day but ignore. When I was growing up I became concerned that everything was trying to tell me something. I was told that if you had a problem, you could just pray, turn on the TV or open a book, and *poof* God would give you a sign to help you solve your problem. A common question among people around me was, "What do you think it means?"
  
  When I stopped believing such ideas, I stopped asking "what do you think it means?" It doesn't mean anything. It is what it is. Appreciate it for itself.
  
  The picture fell off the wall because the nail that held it up slipped out because the material around the nail hole slowly eroded away. The picture fell off the wall. That's all it means. It doesn't mean that somebody is going to die. It doesn't mean that evil spirits want to attack that person. It just fell. Hang it back up.
  
  
• God, demons, angels, etc. can make you think and do things.
  
  I was taught that at any time I could lose control of my ability to think for myself. I'd become possessed or tricked into making mistakes. If I let myself get tricked or possessed, it was because I didn't have enough faith in God, and God would be angry with me for not having faith. Mistakes were not just mistakes, not just a lack of knowledge or experience. Mistakes were evil, and if I made a mistake, then I was evil.
  
  No wonder I became a perfectionist.
  
  
• Your thoughts can make things happen.
  
  I was taught that if you thought about something, then that something would happen. It was like making a wish or saying a prayer. God would answer it by doing it. If you thought about getting hit by a car, then you'd get hit by a car. It's easy to say that's not true, but I see it in our culture all the time. For example, The Secret, is a book all about how whatever you think about will happen. They call it the law of attraction and act as if it's mystical. It's not.
  
  If you never think about brushing your teeth, then you won't brush your teeth, so yes, thought is required to make something happen. But just thinking about brushing my teeth doesn't get my teeth clean. Likewise, thinking about killing somebody doesn't make you a murderer.

I've even noticed the power of belief creating hallucinations in the people I talk to. Did you smell that? Did you see that? Did you hear that? Did you feel that? Sometimes one person would say they sensed something, and suddenly everyone else would start claiming they sensed it too. The power of suggestion.

I'm raising my kids as agnostics, free thinkers, and giving them the chance to decide what they want to believe, but I'm doing my best to ensure that science and logic are sought before religion when trying to answer questions, determine causes, or find solutions. I'm amazed by how healthy they are, how different they are compared to how I was when I was their age, compared to how my family members and friends were when they were their age. My children don't have the anxiety. They aren't constantly afraid or ashamed. They believe they can do anything. They aren't afraid of the dark. They don't blame their problems on the devil or punishment by God. They take responsibility for their actions. And they're happy.

Maybe mental health problems need a little less focus on healing symptoms and a little more focus on healing the roots of problems. Maybe we need detox and rehab centers for people who were raised with absurd, unhealthy religious beliefs.

Labels: Deep Thoughts and Philosophy, Health, The Quest for Happiness