So we decided to go to sleep last night, my husband and I, and several minutes after getting into bed...

We heard a noise outside our bedroom window. Damn racoons again...they're always climbing all over our patio furniture, which we shove up against the house to keep the wind from blowing it all off the deck. Then there was a bigger noise and a bigger one and then banging and scratching on the window and the sudden confusion of "how the hell does a racoon make noises that big?" Dan went to the window to scare the little buggers away.

He got the flashlight and looked out the blinds.

"Is it the racoon?" I asked.

"No," he said in a confused tone. Then loudly, to make it obvious he said, "It's a man! Call 911."

I picked up the phone, called 911, told them what was going on, and gave our address.

"He's just standing there," my husband said. The guy must have been trying to "think invisible" hoping my husband wouldn't see him. He tried to aim the flashlight at the guys face, so he could get a good look at him, but he suddenly took off. My husband rushed to the girls room to protect them (fortunately, they never woke up until everything was over with).

After we gave all the info. to the 911 operator, she said the police were on their way. We started calling the neighbors to let them know to be aware of anything suspicious.

The police showed up and said they had just had a similar call and were looking for the guy from that situation. They went searching for the guy and found him, due to my husband's description.

He was some drunk guy named Mark-something who says he was trying to get into his ex-wife's house and apparently thought our house was the ex-wife's house.

The good part is that nobody got hurt, all the neighbors stuck together to help each other out, the guy was caught, and he never managed to get into our house, which means we didn't have to kill him. :-)

Ahhhh, now I just have to remember how to relax.