Between Thanksgiving and today I've gained 10 lbs. I'm 184 lbs. this morning (which means I've gained back a total of 16 lbs. of the weight I had lost). Oh well, better to gain 10 lbs. in one month because there were so many delicious desserts and cheeses in my hands than to lose 10 lbs. in one month because we couldn't afford food.

Am I to say, "Woe is me because I ate cookies and candy by the handfuls" while other people are looking for scraps in trash cans? And then there are people in remote desolate places of the world who only wish they had trash cans they could search through. Am I to say, "Woe is me because I didn't have to spend 12 hours a day laboring in a physically demanding job" while other people are digging in mines and lifting heavy rocks and timbers? So I will not be complaining about my weight. How lucky I am to be able to gain it while others die in skinny, bony bodies from lack of nutrition.

But I will not be naive either. To much of anything, even a good thing, is simply too much. (It's a lesson I've been trying to teach my children, but I'm afraid I'm rarely a good role model since I tend to vacillate between extremes in much of what I do.) Too much of the good life with lots of good food and little need to struggle in physical work has left me in an unhealthy state.

It's odd since health is so important to me. I avoid carcinogens as if they were infected with the plague and would kill us all immediately. I refuse to consume hydrogenated oils, artificial anything, or large quantities of corn syrup. I do as much as I can to avoid becoming contaminated by germs outside of my home. I focus on safety first in everything I do because I fear that harm will come if I don't. I do it all to prolong my life and the lives of the people I love and to make our lives more pleasurable and fulfilling. But when it comes to my excess weight and sedentary lifestyle, I am my greatest health risk.

So again, I start a New Year with the resolution to get to a healthier weight (130 lbs. is always the goal but I'd be better off with any improvement). My goal is not to fit into the latest fashions or turn heads. I simply want to be healthy, energetic, and agile. I want to set a good example of health for my kids. And I want to enjoy the process. I don't want to do exercises that I dread; life is too short to do things we hate. I'm determined to find something active that I enjoy doing. And I certainly won't be participating in any fad diets. Moderation is always the panacea.

But above all I will avoid complaining about how blessed I am to have the opportunities to be fat while so many others are starving and physically overtaxed. It's like complaining about having too much money and not having to work for it. I refuse to be so spoiled.

Labels: Goals, My Life