I've been quite stressed out lately. Half of it is hormonal. Part of it is health related. Some of it is frustration with my weight and my ever growing to-do list. But there's also a huge part of it that is due to frustration with other people.

Lately, I've been dealing with people who try to push their responsibilities on me because they're so incredibly selfish, self-centered, and disrespectful toward everyone else. I swear such people gravitate to me, mistaking an occasional helping hand as volunteering for full-time servitude. I don't mind helping people who are in a bind (I love to help people), but I certainly am not going to be treated like an unpaid assistant, nanny, chef, or counselor.

I just say "no" to such people and go on with my life. "No, I will not wake up at 6 am to babysit your child so you can have an affair. And no, I won't do it at any other time of day either." "No, I will not put my life on hold and take over the work on your projects, your household duties, and your parenting responsibilities during the next two weeks so you can go on vacation at a moment's notice." "No, I will not give you money so you can buy drugs, and I certainly don't believe that the money is to pay for your kids whom aren't even living with you."

It's easy to say "no" to people who ask for a favor. I'm fully aware of my boundaries, and I enforce them diligently. But I'm finding that some of these people are avoiding the "no" by simply not asking at all. What do you do when they leave their hungry kids on your front porch and drive away? What do you do when they walk in your house without your knowledge of it and do who-knows-what? What do you do when they volunteer you for projects that essential to the functioning of an organization that helps people? What do you do when they open accounts in your name?

In many cases, I could easily file a police report and press charges. But in some cases, pressing charges would actually make things worse for children and other people in need.

For now, the best thing I can do is assert myself, tell them that I will not stand for their behavior, and, if necessary, cut them out of my life. I hate cutting people off, but sometimes it's the healthiest thing to do for everyone.

Labels: My Life