It amazes me how many people want to demonstrate that they can't be controlled by external demands by doing the opposite. Ahhh, the rebel, the nonconformist, the school boy/girl who epitomizes cool. They imprison themselves by their own immature reactions. How sad to see so many intelligent individuals continuing to live life based on the opinions of others.

When you base your actions on what somebody else wants rather than what you want for yourself, you are giving that other person control. It doesn't matter if you're following their instructions or rebelling against them. The very fact that you have made decisions, beliefs, actions, etc. as a response to that other person (or people or society in general) indicates that you are actually letting yourself be controlled by them.

When you truly have control over your own actions, you become mindful of what you want and what you are doing. You act with intention rather than reaction. Know what's really important to you, not what others have taught you that you are supposed to value. Think about life, religion, science, philosophy, relationships, goals, death, etc. Challenge everything you've ever been taught. Be honest with yourself. Some things will make sense, so you'll keep them in your life. Some things won't, so you'll abandon them.

Once you find out who you are, what you want, and all of the other things people look for when they're finding themselves, you suddenly find yourself doing your own thing. When others criticize you for your actions, you are not swayed. When others praise you for your actions, you are not swayed. You do what you do because you believe it to be the right thing to do, not because others judge it one way or the other.

Labels: The Quest for Happiness