Psychological Obstacles of Weight Loss
Updated on November 24, 2007
Yes, better nutrition and more exercise, are required to lose weight in a healthy manner, so why is it so hard to make the commitment to changing your lifestyle, eating better, and getting more active? Maybe there is something missing in that diet-and-exercise formula, weight loss psychology.
The Psychology of Weight Loss
There is only one formula that matters in the psychology of change, the benefits must outweigh (no pun intended) the drawbacks.
You need to want to change your lifestyle and lose the weight. "I do," you say, but are you really being honest with yourself. If you honestly wanted to change your lifestyle and lose weight, then why haven't you convinced yourself to do it?
Honesty with Yourself
We all say, "I want to be thinner, have a healthy weight, look good in a swimsuit, and have pride in my healthy lifestyle." Most fat people are lying to themselves when they say this.
Maybe you want to be thin, but you don't want to change your lifestyle.
Maybe you want to change your lifestyle, but secretly you don't want to be thin.
Maybe you really want to keep your lifestyle and your extra weight.
It's time to dig deep and get brutally honest with ourselves. It will hurt, which is why you've been lying to yourself all this time, but we must face our fears if we're ever going to conquer them.
Hidden Desires
What are the things you are going to lose by changing your life and losing weight? Make a list, and be HONEST with yourself. Then dig deeper. Ask yourself why? Why is this item on the list. What is it that you like about it? What about it do you not want to lose?
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I like sitting at my computer/television. It's entertaining. It's fun. It makes me feel good to get my work on the computer done because I'm good at it. It relaxes me. I deserve some time to relax. I have a lot of stress to deal with. If I were exercising, I wouldn't be relaxing. It would be just one more thing on my to-do list, one more thing to stress me out.
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I like eating a cinnamon bun for breakfast every day. It's delicious. It's a little bit of heaven, a vacation from reality. I can just sit there and enjoy my cinnamon bun without having to worry about the day ahead. There are things that happen in the day that I don't want to deal with (e.g. my boss, deadlines, the kids fighting, etc.). This gives me a way to forget about those things for awhile. I deserve to have a break from all of the stress.
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I like my chubbiness. I think it looks good to have some fat. All of those skinny chicks with their ribs sticking out are disgusting. I'd rather be fat than look like that.
Hidden Fears
What are the consequences that worry you about lifestyle change and weight loss? Make a list and be HONEST with yourself. Then dig deeper. What's the worst that can happen?
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If I exercise, somebody might see me. They might see me do something wrong and try to correct me. They'll think I'm an idiot because I don't know how to jog correctly. I might injure myself, and then they'll all really think that I'm a moron. They'll laugh at my jiggling fat. They'll talk behind my back. They'll tease me for being a health freak or for trying to be a health freak when I'm obviously not.
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If I lose the weight, I'll look attractive. My husband might think that I'm trying to look good for other guys, and he might think that I want to cheat on him. He might accuse me of being unfaithful and leave me. Some guy might flirt with me, and I don't like being rude, so I wouldn't get upset about it, and then it would seem like I am a flirting cheat. If the guy flirting with me feels rejected, it would make me feel guilty for hurting him. If the flirting guy was mentally unstable, he might try to attack and/or rape me. Men will start looking at me as though I'm a sex object rather than a person. People won't take me seriously. They'll think I'm vain and shallow. They'll think I'm dumb or that I got by on my looks.
The Source of Our Hidden Desires and Fears
It all comes down to mistaken beliefs.
Mistaken beliefs are simply beliefs that we have that aren't necessarily correct. They are based on our perceptions, interpretations, and imagination.
Look at your lists of hidden desires and fears. These are your mistaken beliefs. For each mistaken belief, write a realistic belief. Elaborate, convince yourself of why your mistaken belief is wrong. Keep writing until you can clearly see that your mistaken belief is actually hurting rather than helping you. If a certain sentence stands out, an "ah-ha" moment, then mark it (circle, underline, highlight, etc). Write down your ah-ha sentence down, and post it in a place where you will see it every day (if you are creative, you can find a creative way to display these inspirational reminders, such as by painting them, embroidering them, etc. so you will be proud to display them as art in your home).
Mistaken Beliefs: If people see me exercise, they'll ridicule the way that my fat jiggles.
Realistic Beliefs: Some people might ridicule my jiggling fat, but the only people who will do this are people who are secretly trying to make themselves feel better for their own inadequacies. Most people will probably be proud of me for exercising and trying to lose the fat. It's obvious that I'm overweight, so it's obvious that I need to lose weight. Most people would rather see somebody trying to make themselves healthy than sitting around and getting fatter. Some people may even be inspired by my exercising. They might say, "If she can do it, then I can do it." I could actually save lives by inspiring other people to get healthy just by getting healthy myself. My fat will jiggle for awhile, but as I lose the weight, I'll jiggle less and less every day. Eventually I won't jiggle at all, so nobody will be able to ridicule me about it. If I don't exercise, I'll jiggle forever, and the ridicule will never end.
My Ah-Ha Moment: Most people will be proud of me for exercising and trying to lose weight.
Mistaken Beliefs: If I spend my time exercising, I'll have less time to do the things I really enjoy, and I deserve doing things I enjoy rather than adding more tasks to my to-do list.
Realistic Beliefs: I can do exercises I enjoy rather than exercises that bore me. By exercising, I'll also recharge my brain as well as my body, so I'll end up with more energy. With more energy, I can do more in less time, so I'll end up having more time to do other things I enjoy doing. I do deserve to do things I enjoy, but I also deserve to enjoy more things, and if I'm not fit, there are many things that I won't be able to do, so I'll never get to enjoy them. Even exercise itself can be one of the things I will learn to enjoy if I find the right activities. Exercise can also be productive because I can do things, like dancing while I clean the house or learning self-defense, which are exercises in themselves but are also fun and useful activities. Multitasking while exercising is a way to reduce my to-do list. I can even exercise while I do relaxing things like watching television.
My Ah-Ha Moment: I deserve to do things I enjoy, and I also enjoy to do more things, including things that require me to be fit.
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