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May 2008, Weight Loss Journal

5 May 2008

Clothing Size: 14

Weight: 177

BMI: 32.37

I've been sick, which means no exercise. I have a respiratory infection, which means I can't do anything that will make me huff and puff. And I have an inner ear infection, which means I can't do anything that will cause bouncing. (Bouncing makes my dizziness worse.) I've been so tired that I end up sleeping far more than I want to, and I can't do much of anything without becoming exhausted. For weeks I've felt useless around the house, and I've been beating myself upfor not being able to exercise.

At least I'm not gaining weight. The scale is just sitting there.

All this time that I've had to think about fitness, while not being able to do anything toward improving my fitness (other than taking vitamins and supplements), has led me to a new focus on fitness. I know that fitness isn't about bathing suit season, but vanity always sneaks into the picture. Really, when you get down to the science of it, fitness is about survival.

A fit person will survive an emergency better than unfit people in most cases. If you're forced to tread water, a fit person will last longer than a weak person. If you're forced to climb, a fit person will make it to the top. If you're forced to run, a fit person can go faster and further. If you're forced to lift heavy objects, a fit person will be much more effective than a weak person. If you are attacked, a fit person will have a better chance of successfully fighting off the attacker. A fit person can also save people, which is why military, law enforcement, and emergency rescue personel all have fitness programs.

A fit person will also be more likely to avoid health problems, like diabetes, heart disease, and cancer. These are the health conditions most of us will die from.

I've always held the belief that fitness is essential to survival, but I often forget it as vanity sneaks back into the picture. I start to insist that I don't want vanity to rule my life, so I decide I'm not going to exercise or I am going to eat that 2nd piece of cake because I don't want vanity to control me. But it's not about vanity. Vanity is just a bonus of good health. Really, it's all about strength, agility, speed, endurance, balance, energy, and optimum health. It's about survival and having the energy to enjoy life by participating in it rather than sitting on the sidelines and watching it go by.

I don't just want to be thin. I want to be strong. I want to be able to run a 5k. I want to earn a black belt in martial arts. I want to hike to the top of mountains without quitting. I want to be able to swim a 5k without drowning. I want to have lots of energy. I want to achieve a fitness level that will help me feel confident that I can handle emergencies. Having an attractive, fit body is just a nice bonus.

So that will be my new focus, my new goal. Losing weight will be an indicator of my improved fitness, but it isn't my only goal anymore. I want to be a strong, healthy, fit woman.

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