Mother's Intuition on Christmas: Question for Kristen
Updated July 28, 2007
I have 3 children ages 33, 31, and 24. My oldest son lives next to us and has 2 kids, he has no significant other right now. He gets his kids on Christmas Eve and will be alone on Christmas day. My second son lives in Chicago with his girlfriend and my grandson. They will be spending Christmas there. My daughter lives in another state with her husband and my granddaughter. She wants my husband and me to come there for Christmas. We spend it with them last year. I have decided to stay here and be with my oldest son on Christmas day. The others all have someone to spend it with, he doesn't. My husband I know is not happy with my decision. He will be going to spend Christmas with my daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter. I know they all think I am wrong. I just don't think I am. My son is going through a depression right now and I don't think a holiday would be the best time to be alone. Please tell me what you think, I have no one to talk to about this.
--Pat
Pat,
Mother's intuition is the way to go. If your gut tells you that you need to be there for your son, then be there for him. I don't understand why your husband wouldn't be happy with your decision. Even if your son was a criminal of some sort (and I'm not assuming he is), he would still need the love and support of his mother, and it's nearly impossible for a mother to turn off that love, so I don't understand why your husband would object or expect you to choose one child over another.
Tell your daughter that you appreciate that she invited you, but out of fairness to your other children, you need to alternate your holiday locations, so everyone can have some time with Mommy. If she has any issue with your decision, remind her that as much as she loves her child, you have that much love for her and two other children, and need to share time with all of your kids.
...by Feed